No one is perfect. We all have good days and bad days (at home and at work). There are days when our emotional intelligence is at its peak and days when it is at a low ebb.

Unfortunately, sometimes those low days are also days when we are less productive or under a lot of stress from our bosses, colleagues or selves. It’s how we react or respond to that stress that determines whether we rise above the bad day or become a victim to it.

Reaction

Defensive reactions are innate, not learned. “Fight or flight” is hardwired into the human brain, and for good reason. Making a quick decision on whether to stand your ground or run away could mean life or death. The impulse, however, to choose without thinking, to allow our hardwiring to control our behavior, is still there. It is our job now to recognize it for what it is—an atavism—and make choices based on the actual situation at hand.

For example, your manager asks you when you are going to finish an important project, which you have had to put on the back burner because of other high priority tasks taking precedence. Your instincts may very well tell you to get upset and defend yourself. After all, that same manager gave you all that work and was panicking just yesterday about something else. But that may not be your best move.

Response

A response is more considered and different from a reaction in that it actually offers a possible solution to a problem or criticism that has been presented, rather than a defense. Instead of answering with why a situation is occurring, it answers how it can be remedied or solicits a request for more information so a solution can be found.

As much as we would like to react first and respond later, taking the time to respond is always worthy. Responding gives you a chance to re-evaluate a situation, perhaps break an urgent project down into more manageable pieces or set priorities more successfully. It also makes a better impression on managers and colleagues, as well as clients.

We can’t expect that every day we will be good at stopping and responding to situations. But the old rules are good rules here. Take a deep breath—or three. Count to ten. Ask to visit your manager’s office in a few minutes so you can give him a proper update. You have many more options than fight or flight.

Wendy Stackhouse, for Artisan Creative

With the US laser-focused on the Presidential election season, it’s a good time to talk about how to handle some office politics.

Your office doesn’t indulge? All cultures have some politics going on, even if it goes on below your radar. Managers have agendas, executives have vision (or visions) and every employee should be keeping the company’s long-term strategies in mind if he or she wants to move up in the organization.

Handling internal politics can, however, be a challenge.

Here are some tips for dealing with office politics without coming out the loser:

1. Be observant. Especially during your first year in a new company, keep your eyes and ears open, particularly to the nonverbal information swirling around your office. You will be able to figure out who is on the same team and who is in competition. Eventually, you will be able to decide who is an ally in your own strategic plan and how to handle those who are not.
2. Be cool. Office politics can be very emotional and dramatic. Use your EQ to determine how to use those emotions to forward your agenda, not someone else’s.
3. Be selective. Every fight is not worth winning. Being known to be flexible and rational will stand you in good stead when something comes up that is your “line in the sand.”
4. Be truthful. There is nothing more important than your integrity. You don’t need to say everything you think, but when you do talk about office politics, always be honest.
5. Be patient. If you really hate office politics, don’t participate. But do remain aware of what is going on around you. If it gets too bad, you have choices to make, but try staying out of the fray before you turn and run.